I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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