I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
