i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
