This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
