Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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