omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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