Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You are a genius and a whore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize