I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
