What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
