I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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