dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
