Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
