Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.