Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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