Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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