he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
