"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
