I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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