Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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