Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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