There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
two words: eviction party
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
