i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
