Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
