cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize