No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
