All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You can't just leave with hair like that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
