Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize