? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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