hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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