question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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