operation harelip BJ is a go
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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