i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
