I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
