I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
cat food counts as protein by the way
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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