they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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