just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
