I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize