You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize