I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
