Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
