The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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