We're facebook friends in real life
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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