Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
