Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
