How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize