I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
