He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
