found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
