Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
