i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
two words: eviction party
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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