Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
