it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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