Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize