I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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