Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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