Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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