is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
